Day 14 - Festivals

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Festivals are great things. I can't imaging anything better than playing on an outdoor stage to a good crowd of people. Not that I've ever done it. We played the last ever day of the Ashton Court Festival on the main stage. The only problem was, they had only just opened the gates so most people were waiting outside while we were on. I still feel upset about that. I had a massive amount of love for that festival, it was truly one of the best in the country and certainly the best for the price. Of the 8 years I attended all I ever wanted to do was play. But like anything, when you finally get your wish, it never lives up to your expectation. I wish they'd bring it back, I really do. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would have no qualms about investing enough to bring back the festival. I wouldn't even care whether I lost all the money.

But small independent festivals are becoming obsolete these days. The cost of policing, insuring and conforming to health and safety are prohibitively large, so only the most profitable events survive which will always involve the biggest artists and the most expensive tickets. I am not sure that's what a festival should be about. We need to start thinking about applying to festivals now, which seems rather odd in the middle of January. Even then it's very hard to get selected for these festivals. I just don't know what criteria we have to satisfy. How does one person ascertain whether a band would be a good festival band or not? It's all beyond me to be honest. Then we have the issue of the 'credit crunch'. How many festivals will meet an untimely end this year because people can't afford to go out anymore?

Anyway, the final part of my ten part list beckons.

Step 10 - Father Christmas

How could we have a Christmas song without the big man himself. As we all know, Santa is a big fat drunk who steals all the alcohol in the house and abuses animals. So it's certain that he has to appear in our song. That is all.

So, in conclusion, the ten steps to a Christmas number one are as follows:

Step 10 - Father Christmas
Step 9 - Pop
Step 8 - Snow
Step 7 - Love
Step 6 - The Brass Section
Step 5 - The Video
Step 4 - Choral Arrangement
Step 3 - Key changes
Step 2 - The Lyric 'Christmas'
Step 1 - Tubular Bells

Sounds good to me. We're a cert.

Tomorrow!